


Letters to the Girl Who Loved Me

by tekhnicolor



Series: The Ficlet Universe [3]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:47:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3497276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tekhnicolor/pseuds/tekhnicolor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>I loved her too.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters to the Girl Who Loved Me

Rose, 

I don't know what to say. Funny, that. I always have something to say, don't I? 

And I wish you were here to answer that. But you're not. You're gone now. I'm gone. It's all gone. _We're_ gone. And we were perfect, you and I. The stuff of legends. The Doctor and Rose Tyler, in the TARDIS, as it should be. _Should have been._

There was so much I wanted to say to you, but I guess, being a Time Lord, I sometimes forget that Time runs out, that it might run out before I get the opportunity to say what I want to say, do what I want to do. 

Anyway, these are my letters. To you, I suppose, if you ever get the chance to read them. I'll send them out into space and knock on wood. These are my 'letters-in-a-bottle's. They're everything I wish I'd said, though I'll probably forget a few things. My old memory's going a bit nowadays, but don't worry: the good stuff's still here. 

Rose, I'm sorry — I'm _so_ sorry — I didn't get the words out that day. You know the one. There are days when I feel like the Last of the Time Lords, the Oncoming Storm, when I have everything under control and the universe at my command; and then there are other days . . . days when I feel like the Child of Gallifrey, when I feel like a little boy all over again and I don't know what to do or what to say and I feel so _helpless._ And that day, that was one of the latter. Because there was a time when nothing lay between us, and now, now between us lies a universe I don't know how to cross.

And I am scared.

Rose, I'm so scared.

I think I've always been a little scared to live my life without you. 

And I'm rambling again — I do that sometimes, don't I? — but what I really wanted to say — _needed_ to say — is that you know how much I love the TARDIS and traveling and seeing the universe, it's who I am; but dear, I would _give up_ all of Time and Space for you, even just to see your face one last time, because I found myself in you. I finally, _finally_ found a part of me that I love. 

And Rose Tyler, I love _you._

There are whole universes out there, full of galaxies full of people and places and ideas, and the only person I want is you, and the only place I want to be is with you, and the only thing I can think about is that _I love you._ I love you and I never told you. And Rassilon, I hope you know, because it _kills_ me inside thinking that you might not. 

And it kills me thinking that I never kissed you — not properly — that you never fell asleep curled into my arms under linen sheets, that I never traced patterns in Gallifreyan against the cool of your skin and watched the fluttering of your eyelids as I did. It kills me thinking that there are things I _never_ said, and Rose, there are days when I cannot breathe and nights that I cannot sleep because I miss you. 

But our story isn't over. I don't think it ever will be. Because I love you, Rose. I love you and I always have and I always will. And please, please, _please_ , don't forget me. Just . . . just don't forget me. Because then our story will last forever, like you said. Like you always said. 

So maybe we're not really gone. Maybe we'll last forever, you and I. 

And I wish I had written this before, so I could have asked you properly. So I could have said please. Please, let me fall in love with you. 

Because Rose Tyler, not all things end.  
Not love.  
Not always. 

And you and I, we are not impossible.  
We will never _be_ impossible. 

You made me better.  
And you made me a home. 

And I don't want to go. 

x  
the Doctor


End file.
